How men think in relationships

Saw this posted in Facebook and I think it's really really true!  It's kind of hilarious too....From the heart of a man!

MAN RULES

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.  Finally, the guy's side of the story.  (I must admit it's pretty good).
 
... We always hear 'The Rules' from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
 

These are our rules!

Please note.  These are all numbered #1 on purpose!
 

1.  Men are not mind readers

(Yuko: Yes, I learn my lesson)
 

1.  Learn to work the toilet seat.  You're a big girl.  If it's up, put it down.  We need it up, you need it down.  You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

(Yuko: Luckily, I don't have the problem with toilet seats being up or down...I do have a problem with how toothpaste is being squeezed)

1.  Crying is blackmail

(Yuko: kekekekeke.....Well, I can't control)

1.  Ask for what you want.  Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

(Yuko:  ok ok ok, noted!)

 1.  Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

(Yuko:  Really no need to explain?)

1.  Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.  That's what we do.  Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

(Yuko: Luckily the bear is open to listen to sob sob and angry stories too!)

 1.  Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.  In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

(Yuko: hahahahahaha......the bear don't remember grudges, his heart is too big for that.  But he does, however, remembers it when I tell him what I like...yes, even when I briefly mention it!)

 1.  If you think you're fat, you probably are.  Don't ask us.

(Yuko:  I won't ask, I'll just tell him I'm fat and he will agree -.-")

1.  If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

(Yuko: Men and their excuses!)

 1.  You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.  Not both.  If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

(Yuko: I'm too independent to ask bear to do things for me...I'd rather do it myself...saves the trouble of explaining)

1.  Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

(Yuko: We are too busy to talk)

 

1.  Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we...

(Yuko:  There's a reason why GPS was invented)

1.  All men see is only 16 colors, like windows default settings.  Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.  Pumpkin is also a fruit.  We have no idea what mauve is.

(Yuko: Hahahahahaha.......this is funny but very true!)

1.  If we ask what is wrong and you say 'Nothing', we will act like nothing's wrong.  We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

(Yuko: Arrrggghhhhh.....)

1.  If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

(Yuko: I don't have any history of heart attacks so I can any answers....I'll still ask)

1.  When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...really.

(Yuko: Orhhhhh.....)

1.  Don't ask us what we're thinking about uless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or motor sports.

(Yuko: I was told that there will be 4 car shows per year and as part of my training, I will be taken to one of the shows to learn more about cars in order for me to get into his world.  errrr....okiez)

1.  you have enough clothes.

(Yuko: Then how come I got nothing to wear?)

 

1.  You have too many shoes

(Yuko: I have no shoes to wear...thank god he is perfectly patience when shopping with me)

1.  I am in shape, round is a shape!

(Yuko: The bear is not that round....he has muscles.  I forbid him to work on his tummy coz if the tummy is replaced with 6 packs, then my pillow will be gone!)

1.  Thank you for reading this.  Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight...But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping....

(Yuko: Yah, bear likes camping.  We even have a tent, tent fan, camping lights, table (for me to watch movies on his ipad), ground sheets, in his car so that we can camp anytime we want!  The both of us together can fix up a tent in 5 mins or less....we are good!)
 

Cosmopolitan April edition

Pooh bear was pumping petrol at a petrol kiosk and saw this....so he got it for me.  I wonder why......

Read through and saw this really interesting article on page 72.

Say this, boost his mood.
1) Damn, you've got a hot ass - Men crave reassurance about their appearance just like we do, so he'll definitely appreciate a positive comment on his looks.  Bonus: Its the perfect opportunity to initiate some playful butt-grabbing.
(Yuko: Ok, I have never said that he has hot ass...BUT I always tell him that he is cute looking - he is a mixture of peranakan, indonesian, chinese and dutch - and I LOVE his arm muscle - alright, he should know this part coz I would grab every opportunity to touch his muscle especially when he is driving ;p)

2) Wow! How did you manage to move that huge thing? - The underlying message here is that he's strong, and that taps in to his inner caveman.  Men instinctively need to feel like they can provide protection, so letting him know you admire how physically powerful he is gives him an instant shot of power.
(Yuko: I have yet to try this coz he hasn't really move any huge objects yet.  But with his weight lifting, martial arts, unarmed combat, gas chamber thingie...etc, I already feel very safe standing next to him.  And he always carries my shopping stuffs...yes, without being asked....such a darling right?  So I guess, he should be strong!)

3) Oh, cool, I didn't know that. - Drop this line the next time he mentions some totally random yet fascinating piece of info.  Then ask him more baout the topic. It's a way of showing him that no matter how long you've been together, you still find him just as interesting as ever.
(Yuko: Alrighty, I normally say that when he talks to me about criminal law and cars!  To me, cars are things with 4 wheels that moves.  To him, it's a whole lot of stuffs....but the way he explains stuffs makes it so interesting, I just want to hear more....love it most when he talk about his work.)

Beliefs vs Behavior

Yes, some people can tell you all about their gods....but when you look at the way they act and what comes out of their mouth, it makes you wonder if their religion is actually a cult.