The survivalist's guide to the corporate jungle

The survivalist's guide to the corporate jungle by Berocca.  Yup, you didn't read wrongly...it's by Berocca...the Think Sharp-Act Fast-Be Ready drink.

THE VULTURE
A solitary creature, the office vulture is seldom at its nest, but can often be spotted hovering near other cubicles.  Waiting to pick apart its prey at the slightest sign of weakness.

Family
Corporate Avian Corpsious

Species
Cubiclious Carnivorous

Habitat
Cubicle dividers make ideal perches

Feeding frenzy
Vultures can rip apart your 10-month old project in less than 30 seconds.

Killer eyes
Extraordinary long-range vision can spot weak resolve from at least 10 cubicles away.

Dull wardrobe
With their dull plumage, you usually don't notice a vulture until it's too late.

THE RAT
A shrewd and expert player of office politics, the rat is highly adaptable and has evolved to survive in a wide range of corporate environments.  Renowned for its arsenal of dirty tricks, a rat wouldn't think twice about dragging your name through the sewer.

Family
Rattus Officious

Species
Rumours Vicious

Favorite activity
Ratting on you

Rat pack
Rats enjoy lurking around the water cooler or in the pantry.  A congregation is usually a sign that something bad is about to happen.

Sneaky senses
Enlarged nostrils easily sniff out nefarious opportunities.

Trash talk
The rumours spread by rats are highly contagious.

THE FOX
The opportunistic office fox hunts alone, and is well-known for being cunning and deceptive.  At first glance, the fox may seem harmless.  But make no mistake, it's always on the lookout, and will pounce on any opportunity to advance its career at your expense.

Family
Corridorius Canidae

Species
Insidious Andeceptious

Hunting ground
Behind your back

Heightened hearing
Extraordinarily large ears can pick up advantageous information from behind closed doors.

Slick and sly
Good personal grooming helps mask a fox's true intentions.

Ravenous appetite
Always hungry for new prey, no one is safe from the fox.

THE SNAKE
A silent predator, the snake is a highly secretive creature that rarely makes its intentions public.  This makes them one of the most dangerous animals in the office.  The ultimate saboteurs, the snake can slither its way into your confidence before ruthlessly suffocating your career.

Family
Business Serpentes

Species
Careerius Sabotagius

Diet
Gullible, new colleagues

Snake charmer
Forked tongue charms you before it harms you

Fangs of fear
Once the snake sets its venomous fangs into your project, career paralysis sets in quickly.

False appearances
By shedding its skin, a snake can change its appearance to take full advantage of any situation.